Fairytales
by kat3.alwaysxox
Summary: P.S. Are you happy? I’m a sentimental, clingy, damsel in distress with a prince who’s three years too late."


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**"Fairy Tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us dragons can be beaten."**

**~G.K. Chesterton**

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**1.**

She didn't like fairytales.

She didn't like how everything followed a pattern, or how the princess had to rely on the prince, or how everything was so perfect.

"_How can't you like fairytales?"_

"_They make me feel childish and hopeful."_

"_Isn't that a good thing?"_

"_Well, kind of. But then I have to wait for someone to rescue me. Like a _victim of life_."_

"_I'll rescue you and you can rescue me and we can have our messed up fairytale."_

"_Promise?"_

"_I promise. And I-"_

"_You_ never_ break your promises. I know."_

**2.**

"_It won't be too bad. I'll come to a couple shows here and there, we'll be fine."_

"_Caity, it's harder than you're making it out to be."_

"_No. Really. It'll be easy."_

"_It's a world tour. Months and months and months. Caity-"_

"_No. No. It's fine. We'll be fine. I'm not going anywhere, so we have nothing to worry about."_

**3.**

She remembers burying her head into his shoulder, and her nails digging into her fist so tightly that she couldn't feel her hand. She had always been a little bit sadomasochistic, so she couldn't feel most of the pain anyway.

She inhaled his scent and promised herself not to cry.

_Crying is weak. It's not like he's dead. He'll be back. Be strong for him._

Her breathing gets a little less steady, and her saddened eyes meet his.

"_I'll be back, Caity. Happily-ever-after. I promise. I love you."_

**4.**

She stayed up every night until 11:11.

_Please don't meet someone else. Please don't meet someone else. Please don't meet someone else._

She trusted him with all her heart, but couldn't help but worry he'd meet a pretty European girl.

_He is an international superstar and attracts girls like flowers attract bees._

_But he does love her. So there's nothing to worry about._

Right?

(Yeah. Of course.)

**5.**

_Have you forgotten about me yet? I miss you already. I know you've only been gone for a couple hours. But I can't help but miss you. You've turned me into a sentimental nothing Nate Black. And I hate you so much for it. Actually, it kind of makes me love you more. Did I mention I miss you? Yeah. Oh, well I'm going to stop now before I turn into Mitchie and make myself baby barf._

_Love, Caity_

_P.S. Is it stupid to right a letter to you? I knew you'd give me the hotel addresses for a reason; after all, it might be a nice surprise to turn up at your next stop and find a letter from me… _

_P.S.S. I miss you._

**6.**

She was a strong, independent woman, with a dented heart. She had never been the clingy type, and never relied on attaching herself to things.

(Especially things that might not always be around.)

That's what made him special. Because she attached herself to him, and relied on him, and was dependent on him.

When a letter didn't arrive the first week, she didn't mind. It was the third week when she started to worry that she hadn't heard from him.

She sighed, and lay down in her bed that still smelt like him. Running her hands through her hair, she felt tears come to her eyes.

_Crying is weak. It's not like he's dead. He'll be back. Be strong for yourself._

"_I'll be back, Caity. Happily-ever-after. I promise. I love you."_

**7.**

She knew he loved her.

She knew he wouldn't forget about her.

She knew he always kept his promises.

"_They're busy, he might just be wrapped up in something. Or what if he just forgot?"_

"_You know he didn't. He _never_ breaks promises. You of all people know that, Mitchie. He'll write any day now."_

**8.**

_I haven't heard from you in a while, and Mitchie's trying to tell me you forgot. You didn't. You're just busy. I know you are, right? I miss you. I miss you a lot. Sometimes I wish I could just hold you. I had another dream about you. You held me and kissed me and I woke up and realized it wasn't real. But that's ok, soon enough it will be. I love you. I really, really, _really_ do. God, I thought this was easy! I'll never make fun of Mitchie again. Well, good luck next time you sing. I can't help but be a little selfish and be jealous that all those girls get to have you and I don't. But that's your job, and I'll stop rambling now. I love you, and miss you. Cat misses you. I took him to the vet to get his annual doggy check-up, and the vet said he was completely healthy. Almost too healthy. Yeah, I didn't think that was possible either. But yeah, um, I'm going to wrap this up. Write soon! Please?_

_Love, Caity_

_P.S. You don't have to write. Just call or text me. I haven't had a call from you for a little less than a month. I talked to Shane though. He said you weren't there, but he called Mitchie last night and- I'll stop._

_P.S.S. I miss you._

**9.**

She got a call one day, and she missed it.

Her _fucking_ birthday call which happened to come when she was in the _fucking _shower.

_Hey, Caity. Haven't heard from you in a while. Wanted to say happy birthday! Love you and miss you. Oh, this is Nate by the way. But you probably got that. Unless someone else said that to you. Like a long lost brother you didn't know about or another boyfriend or… I'm rambling and have to go. But happy birthday! Again. I promise I'll be home soon. Bye._

She didn't hear from him again, and she ended up deleting the message.

She doesn't know what part hurts worse.

**10.**

She almost feels guilty sometimes.

She knows he's the one working, she knows he's the one with long nights and early mornings, she knows he's the one traveling and dealing with everything else.

But _she's_ the one who's left waiting by the phone, and _she's_ the one with sleepless nights and undistinguished mornings, and _she's_ the one who's left in reality without him.

She sometimes wishes she was the one gone, and he could miss her.

It might be easier that way, because she really hates it this way.

**11.**

"_You have no new messages. To listen to your saved messages press one, to listen-"_

"_You have no new messages. To listen to your saved messages pres-"_

"_You have no new messages. To-"_

"_You have no new messages. To listen to your saved messages press one, to change your information press five, for more opti-"_

"_To change your saving options press two, to change your answering message press six, to hear these-"_

"_Record your message after the beep."_

"This is Caitlyn, leave a message."

**12.**

_Um, it's kind of stupid that I'm doing this to myself. I don't know why I am. I hope tour is going well. I saw on Hot Tunes that you're selling out. That's great. Well, I miss you. A lot. You don't know how much. Where are those tickets you promised me? I want them mister! Ha. Yeah. Well, I tried calling you. Again. Sorry if you're tired off all the messages. I just miss you. A lot. Only a couple more months until you're back in the U.S. Then I'll go to more shows before you go off on your South American tour. Rio de Janeiro to LA is only 6312 miles. Well, I love you. _

_Love, Caitlyn_

_P.S. Can you just let me know that you're alive? I mean, seriously. It's been five months. Jason and Shane said you're fine. They said you haven't stopped talking about me. They said you'd kill them if I told you they said that. Wow, that didn't make sense._

_P.S.S. I still miss you._

**13.**

"_The boys are performing in Madison Square Garden."_

"_Yep."_

"_Well, aren't you going to go? Shane said that Nate would-"_

"_No."_

"_Come on, Caity-Lynn. I'm going! _Pretty, pretty_ please?"_

"_Have fun Mitchie."_

**14.**

She hasn't left him a message in four months, two weeks, and five days.

She hasn't sent him a letter in five months and two days.

She hasn't seen him in person for one year, two months, three days, and twenty-two hours.

That's 392 days without him.

Not that she's counting.

**15.**

Its days like this she wishes the world didn't look so happy.

She wishes the sun would hide, and the birds would stop chirping, and the flowers would die, and the laughter would stop. She wishes that Mitchie wouldn't worry so much, and that no one cared that she hadn't been 'herself' whatever 'being herself' meant. If she is herself how is she not herself.

It's days like these she wishes it would actually look like winter.

She wishes it could be cold and frozen and hard and numbing.

(She actually just wants the numbing part, because it so hopes it will ease her pain if she can't feel anything.)

**16.**

She hates him.

She hates him so much it made her cry with tears of anger.

She hates him for making her wait. She hates him for not calling. She hates him for never coming home. She hates him for lying. She hates him because he turned her into some fucking _Hallmark_ movie or a sob story.

(Because she still loved him.)

"_Shane said they don't know what happened, Caity. Nate hasn't said anything about you two."_

"_So?"_

(Silence)

"_Do you really think he'll come back?"_

"_I've been waiting for him, and he _never_ breaks his promises. Of course he'll come back."_

**17.**

She didn't like this place. She much preferred sitting at home on the sofa watching 'Wheel of Fortune' and eating Chinese.

Tess told her it would help her forget. Tess told her it helps ease the pain. She had never listened to Tess before, so she had no idea why she started to now.

"_I've been waiting for him, and he _never_ breaks his promises. Of course he'll come back."_

She drank a Strawberry-Tequila Margarita and those words repeated over and over and over again.

She doesn't know why.

(About either really.)

She hated tequila. Tequila _never_ let her down. It was sharp and pain-inflicting and burns her throat as it steeps down.

She hated hope. Hope kept letting her down. It was sharp and pain-inflicting and burns her as hopeful words leave her tongue.

"_I've been waiting for him, and he _never_ breaks his promises. Of course he'll come back."_

**18.**

She feels bad when she see's unknown numbers showing up on her phone.

Especially ones that appear over and over again.

Because that means the person never gets in contact with the person they're trying to reach.

Because that means the other person is left waiting for a call.

Because that means she's part of the reason that other people never get in contact and are left waiting.

**19.**

"_He'll come back. He has to."_

This is a ritual now. Mitchie begs her to stop, but she _can't._

It helps ease the pain. She sits there and sips her Strawberry-Tequila Margarita and drowns in her hopes and despairs, trying to convince herself lies.

"_You look like you need some company. _What's wrong_?"_

She looks over to see a tall man sit next to her. He looks about twenty-four (only two years older). He has light wavy hair, and blue eyes, and a cute smile, and is _everything_ that he's not.

She looks over to see a tall man sit next to her._ He's twenty-two (only two months older). He has dark curly hair, and brown eyes, and a warm smirk, and she can't get the image out of her mind._

"_Sorry, I have to go. _I have a boyfriend_."_

She doesn't go back to that place after she stumbles out, because if she did she might see him again, and she would rather just forget.

**20.**

She hates how childish she is.

It's been almost two years.

(She should really be over it.)

But she can't help but freeze at the sound of his name, and cringe at the sound of his voice, and wait by the phone for hours on end, and eat tub after tub of ice cream staring at his face on the TV. Then she screams, and cries, and yells, and runs out the door and down the steps and mile after mile until she can't feel her feet. After that, she'll find any place that serves alcohol, and drinks until she doesn't feel so sorry for herself anymore.

And then it starts all over again.

**21.**

She should probably move.

Living in this place brings back memories that she wants to _forget_.

But if she _forgot_ them, she figures she'd _miss_ them.

(And she _misses _enough things without adding that to the list.)

(Because memories are about the only thing she has left.)

**22.**

Mitchie doesn't talk to her anymore.

She stopped talking to her when she started drinking.

Sometimes she regrets it.

Sometimes she wishes she could go back and rewrite the _past_ and make it all go away.

The _past_ is why she doesn't get to sleep at night.

The _past_ is why she's the bad girl of the press.

The _past_ is why she drinks her problems away even more.

The _past_ is why she can't stand to look in the mirror.

(And it's his entire fault.)

(Well at least she wishes she could blame him.)

**23.**

She lives in a fucked up fairytale.

In it there's a prince who's three years too late, and a king and a queen who left, and a fairy godmother who gave up, and wicked knights who drink their problems away, and a damsel in distress who doesn't want to be saved.

She kind of likes her fucked up fairytale, because the unexpected _always_ happens, so she doesn't have to get her hopes up.

**24. **

It was exactly eight months after the last time she saw Mitchie when Shane showed up on her doorstep, and the first thing that ran through her head was that someone had died.

Why of all people would Shane come?

(They never saw eye to eye.)

Shane shook his head when he saw her, giving her an awkward hug.

(Which was the first sign of affection she had felt since Mitchie hugged her saying she couldn't handle it anymore.)

"_This is the first hug I've had in a while."_

"_Let's make it last."_

That surprised her even more. But what surprised her most was finding out he had come on his own terms, even though it was partially for other people.

"_Mitchie's in tears over tabloid covers, Jason's in some trance of depression from missing you, and Nate- he-" Shane's voice caught. "I don't know what happened. I don't know anymore, Cait. What's wrong with you? What happened? Why do you do this to yourself?"_

She doesn't talk, because she doesn't know. She just watches as she experiences Shane Grey cry for the first time.

"_What is this, Caitlyn? What the fuck is this?"_

She stares at the cover of the magazine that is thrown down at her feet and feels her heart stop.

It showed her drunk leaving some stranger's house after a night she didn't even remember. It showed her high, making out on the dance floor. It showed her stumbling out of a club she doesn't even know she went to.

She cries. She cries for the first time in a while. The first emotion she's felt. She can't speak though. And Shane holds her, and comforts her, and becomes the big brother she wishes she had.

"_Everyone's worried, Cait. You need to stop. I don't know what happened, but stop."_

She spent that night dumping every form of alcohol she owned down the drain while Shane watched from the other side of the room.

**25.**

Two months later is when she sees Mitchie again.

Mitchie hugs her and they both apologize and it's like nothing ever happened.

(Between them anyway.)

**26.**

_I think this is stupid, but Mitchie says I should do it anyway. It's more than three years later, but maybe this will help with closure. I called you everyday Nathaniel Black, and you never called me. I wrote you every week, and never a letter in return. I really wish I could hate you. I really, really, _really_ do. But, I can't. Why? Because you turned me into a sentimental nothing. I believed that those stupid fairytales you talked about and how they'd come true, and that you really meant your promise saying you'd come back, and that you loved me. Only in fairytales, right? I'm really fucked up, Nathaniel, and I'm tired of waiting for someone to come save me._

_Love, Caitlyn_

_P.S. God, I hate myself. Are you happy? I'm a sentimental, clingy, damsel in distress with a prince who's three years too late._

_P.S.S I miss you. Still. I'm left undyingly missing you. After three years._

**27.**

She woke up to the sound of rain and knocking at her door.

In her pajamas she walked down _their _stairs and past _their_ dog and to _their_ door.

And in all his glory, _there_ he stood.

He was older, and his hair was shorter, and his smile was strained, and his eyes were hollow, but he was still him.

She didn't know to be angry or elated or sad or excited or anything. So she just stood there staring at him.

"_I called you."_ His voice is horse. _"I called you every day. Half the time you didn't pick up, the other half the call could not be reached."_

"_What?"_

"_And I _never_ got a single one of your letters. And eventually you stopped leaving messages. I thought you hated me."_

"_You _never _came back."_

"_You _never _came and saw me."_

"_You were half way around the world!"_

"_I sent tickets!"_

"_I _never_ got them!"_

An awkward silence followed.

"_I guess we're just _victims of life_."_

She smiled a real smile for the first time in a while.

"_Yeah. I guess. But being one isn't as bad if you have someone with you."_

"_Well, how about we start over."_

"_Ok. Hi, I'm Caitlyn-"_ She started to stick out her hand.

"_Not that far over. Just far enough to the point where I'm not three years too late."_

She doesn't know who was first to react, but she found herself in his arms, inhaling his scent, and remembering back to before she let him go.

"_I love you, Caity. I _never_ break my promises."_

"_I know."_

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That was extremely bad. I started to type in this format, and I really liked it for some reason. At first I had Nate dying and such, but I really didn't want to do that. The intentions were good, but it crumbled. I have onea couple one-shots and multi-chapters I'll post when I get back from vacation in a week which include some Tess-centric and Caitlyn-centric and Nate/Caitlyn and... Well, you get it. Please review, though? It would mean the world to me!


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